.Saturday, February 14, 2009 ' 2:56 PM
& your love is all i ever wanted
My heart ache
My heart breaks
Why you want to do this to me?
Why?
Enough of hurting me. I have been tolerate it for long time..
Enough is enough..
I haven take a single penny from you for quite long. Why you must say me lidat. Why?
You don't want to come clean about what you doing..
Why I always say something, you all don't believe me? Why? Do you know how the feeling is when you said something which is true and nobody believe you? It feels terrible i tell you.
It's seriously feels terrible. I didn't know I don't have your trust at all.. You always say i'm lidat but did you see it? Did you see any changes abt me that can change your mind? I'm sure you have, but you take it negatively...
I got nothing much more to say about it... I cannot change your mind and everything. I think i can just shut up and isolate myself.. It's okay i don't mind.. You all have hurt me enough...
You think i'm spoilt? Please... Who is the spoilt one.... I know what i'm doing, how i spend my money... I'm not that kind of girl you think... Who will keep on spending money and everything.. 18 years already and you still don't know me.... Most of my money spend on foood.. Nobody believes me and i won't care much. I have been cutting down on everything... I don't always buy the things that i like when i see it. You don't know me, don't anyhow say. When you tell her that, my heart breaks into million little pieces. I'm not the one anyhow spend my money, please remember that. I'm turning 18 soon, not 8 years old. Don't use those mentality that i don't know a single thing like a small kid. I'm not a kid anymore. Don't think that i don't know any thing that you do. I know it. Please stop using those stupid attitude towards me.. You use that on me, i use that on you. As simple as that.
I hate people attitude me. You want to attitude me, i will do it back to you. I'm not the one you can bully and everything. I cannot take it anymore.. I have my limits too. Please don't push over it. If you want me to explode, then just do it. But i don't know what i will do... All of you expect me to stay home every single day? I can't do that unless i don't have a single friend. You can, i cannot. Whenever i'm at home, it seems to have no peace at all. All the actions and words everything, made me not wanting to go home.. Why can't i have a happy peaceful fun family..
I know sometimes i done wrong in some ways too... Sometimes is my fault, but i'm trying to change.. Can't you all see? Can your mind change? Don't always stick to what you have think of me from young. Cuz you think lidat, you will see me lidat. No matter how/what i did, you will always have the same thinking forever don't change. I don't like that... What century is this already. And doesn't mean that you like this, i must like this, you do that i must do that. I have my own ways, my own thinking, my own attitude. I won't show you all attitude unless you all pissed me off and everything.
I miss working on valentine's day at country manna.... 2 years back.. Although it's a rush hour night, full house, busy and everything.. Running here and there.. I enjoyed myself. I miss working with kokonut Chris, koknut Sandy, Shiqi, Cindy, Malvern, Sarah, Denis, Sophie.. Although there are unhappy moments, but there are still fun and laughter.. I miss you all... especially Shiqi, Chris and Sandy!!!
Thanks melmel & xJUn for tolerating my rantings(: LOVES! (:
